I’m the habitual me; minding my own business. I’m parked on the side of the road, front and rear lights on, warning indicators too. The engine is still warm. Mainly because it’s running.
My girl just dropped off the motorbike to buy some stationeries. I see her slowly disappear into the womb of the shop. I am pleased.
I turn back my head in front of me, rest my elbows on the handlebar, and wait. No iPhone. No Kindle. No distractions. Staring straight ahead. Breathing. Being here. Now.
A guy is coming fast on my right, on the side path. Blond, tall, foreigner. He parks his motorbike a meter before me. A guy is coming fast on my right, on the side path. Blond, tall, foreigner. He parks his motorbike behind his friend, and zero meter next to me. I don’t budge. He can’t get off. I don’t budge. He gets off and ram my right leg with his left foot. I ask him if he needs more space; he asks me if I have any problem. Today is not a good day to ask that question.
The two fanatics talk between themselves, show their teeth, pretend to be cool, and head towards me. I don’t budge. Today is not a good day. I close my eyes, and sigh.
They come pushing me, shouting. They want to play, or so it seems.
I get up, put my motorbike on its side stand, and get closer to them, stoically. The first one swings a fist onto my face. I don’t budge. I take it on the bone cheek that I hear cracking. I lean a bit on the right and below, but not because on his punch, rather because I’m going to land an uppercut on his balls. Done. I land another one right under his chin. His teeth shatter and fly away. The second pull out a knife from his back pocket. Today is not a good day. He looks cool but he’s not. I approach him, again, stoically. He’s not sure what to do. He swings the knife towards me and hits the left side of my belly. Without any reaction I land my hand on his, turn it 180 degrees, he screams and the knife falls down. I kick Second Blondie in the stomach and miss him. He seems to regain confidence but the missed kick makes me kneel on the ground, where I pick up the knife. I pierce his stomach once. Then twice. Then about twelve more times. He falls on the ground. I turn and plant the knife in the neck of the first guy, still lying on the ground. My girl is still not back.
I feel tired and resigned and also crazy. I start cutting up the Blondies Brothers ears and carve mountains shapes out of them. I slice the tip of their noses too just for fun. I’m thinking they can make some nice hide-nipples.
My girl is now back. The side path is red and has a strong smell of iron. It’s the first time she sees me in this position. I stand up and smile. She smiles. We hug for ten seconds, under the cameras of unknown passersby. I give her a slight kiss. We hop on the motorbike and head away. She hugs me sweet and tight.
She’s the one.